Showing posts with label celebrations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrations. Show all posts

January 1, 2014

Happy New Year...2014!!!




This year, I made up my own damn meme!


1.       2013… was your life a pond or a river?  At times, I felt like life was a rushing river of events.  Finally finishing our new addition, Dylan’s decision to enter the Air Force , graduating highschool and leaving home, a summer full of exploring new places, fun vacations….  And at other times it seemed quite like a still quiet pond.  My work environment stayed the same, my art is at a standstill because I have no place to paint freely(and when I had the chance to paint outside, I made the choice to play elsewhere), physically I did not experience reaching new goals like I had in 2012.   

2.      What was the impetus for growth this year- body, mind, and soul?  BODY:  Due to my illiotibial band injury and my sprained ankle at the beginning of the summer, no real physical changes were made.  That was hard to take-especially the fact that I couldn’t run over the summer.  I missed many of the summer races….but Miles and I where at least able to run two half marathons using a basic “run for one minute/walk for one minute” routine.  It was more of a restorative routine to protect our bodies that were not used to intense running at the time.  My gym routine is in maintenance mode and I am REALLY needing a change to switch things up and awaken my muscles and get ready for more intense building.  I DID nourish my body this year with all the amazing and HARD hikes we did!  MIND: I’ve made more time for reading this year to feed my mind.  I’m feeling the urge to go back to school…not because I don’t like my career…I just enjoy school and the idea of starting something new and different is very appealing….but in reality, not very likely any time soon.  I have started a Rosetta Stone course in Italian, though!  SOUL:  I would have to say our entire summer was balm and food for my soul.  See my “Something Special Every Day” posts.  What an incredible summer it was!  On the daily meditation that I talked about last New Years, I have failed.  I was SO revved up to make it the start of my day every day, even if for only 5 minutes.  Routine and distractions always get in the way though.  With ADD, quieting the mind is just.so.hard.  I think I’m the type of person who would benefit more from the structure of mediation on CD, or a group, or a mentor to check in with periodically.  I just can’t seem to make it happen on my own.  As for my hope to step up my writing, I’m pretty happy with how I have kept it up.  Not as often as I would like, but more then I had been doing.


3.      What freed your soul?   Themes of letting go presented themselves quite a bit this year.  In letting go of hurts, disappointments, not putting up with toxic people and situations, I was often reminded of these lines from the serenity prayer:  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change……….. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.” (Just to clarify: I’m not an addict, but like many, I find comfort in those words)

4.      What bad habit did you discard?  Habit?  Well, it’s more like the addiction of screens.  I’ve talked about this before.  And I’m happy with the progress I’ve made in keeping my screens off way more often!  I have a way to go and I plan to continue to improve in the next year.  Using the internets for communication and personal edification is one thing…..loosing yourself-and time-in it is another.  Another ADD problem.

5.      What magic presented itself?  When I think of magic, I think of Willa.  More than ever, she is such a joyous child.  And so very loving…intensely as of late.  Her developing sense of gratitude in life, empathy toward people and creatures, wonder at the world around her, physical abilities and expanding mind are a wonder to see.  She really is coming into her own wonderful personality…not a carbon copy of us, but her own true self.  And her own brand of humor is a joy!   Holy jeezus, I hope this doesn’t disappear with adolescence.  I would have to be committed at that point…

6.      What 3 words embody this past year?  PEACE, above all……Change…..exploration….

7.      Who fed your soul?  My family, always….My wonderful husband. I am constantly moved by how we just become closer, our understanding of each other deepens, we simply love each other more and more with every passing year.  We are very much our own person and yet so wonderfully entwined in many ways….a perfect blend.  Deepening friendships with a handful of good people.  As always, getting outside and playing!

8.      What new skill will you master?  Italian!!!!  Master?  Not so much….I hope by the time we head to Italy I’ll be able to have a basic conversation.

9.      Is there someone out there you would like to strive to be more like in 2014?  I’m pretty happy with myself but realize there is always room for growth.  This past year, I’ve had to take a close look at my shyness-riding the cusp of social anxiety, actually- and how it has worsened over the years…how I have changed from who I was in my 20’s.  I have always been shy and tentative around new people.  But that seems to have morphed into being seen as “reserved” even when I think I’m being “myself”, sociable, open, lighthearted.  A friend pointed out over the summer that I seem so outrageous on Facebook but am pretty reserved in real life.  Yuk!  An eye opener.  While social media has been wonderful for staying in touch with some great people, and allowing me to have a voice in a way that I had never experienced when I was younger, it has also enabled me to be less apt to reach out to people in real life.  Socializing from the comfort of my living room is so EASY!  No real judgment, no awkward silences, no struggling to break the ice.  I have allowed it to really change me and I need to nip this shit in the bud, NOW!  I’m so grateful to have found some new friends this year that I feel comfortable being my true self around.  THEY might not see the full me yet, but I do, when I’m with them.  So, is there someone out there I would strive to be like?  My duty is to strive to be the highest form of myself, whatever that may be, but my friend Noel has always been the person that I have said I would like to be if I could reincarnate after death.  I met Noel when I lived in Montana and was instantly blown away.  She, in my eyes, lives life fearlessly, without a care for what people think, in whatever way feeds her soul.  The type of person who would break out in dance at work to some crazy tune, shave her head to see what it would be like, express herself with a wide open heart and mind experiencing whatever interested her in life.  GOING FOR IT.  She is an artist, a thinker, an explorer, a champion for women and girls entrenched in sex trafficking….and soon she will be a mama. 

10.   What was the most important lesson learned this past year that you will take into the next?  Number 9 segues nicely into this one.  Because of my shyness, I missed out on knowing a wonderful person…perhaps making a family friend.  Our neighbor, Stephen, lived a couple miles down the road.  I’m sure we had all often been at the same events in the past, but I had never officially met him.  He was very active in and an integral part of the LGBT community as well as Progressive political groups.  We ran in the same political circles and struck up a “friendship” on Facebook over the last couple of years.  Stephen was known as a quiet but very kind, gentle and giving person, an avid outdoorsman and a brilliant mind.  He was always making political signs for use to use at sign wavings, marches and to stake in our yard.  We always seemed to have trouble crossing paths when he came over to drop them off.  But Stephen often invited me and my family to go hiking with him, he gave us permission to hike on his property up the side of a mountain to a saddle between 2 ridges.  He offered to share some of his many flower and native plant starts for my yard and deck.  Because of my shyness, I never made it a priority.  There always seemed to be something else going on. I always thought there would plenty of time to get together with Stephen…  You NEVER know when a person will be lost forever.  Stephen went missing in October.  His neighbor was alarmed when he hadn’t seen him for 2 weeks.  There was an investigation and search of his home and property.  Nothing was found, no foul play suspected.  His phone was charging, his wallet on the counter, radio on playing NPR, a half eaten bowl of popcorn by his chair…it was as if he simply vanished in thin air.  People wondered if he had had a mental breakdown and just….left.  Some thought he dropped everything to go on an adventure.  He may have attacked by a bear while working on his property…….gotten hurt on a hike and succumbed to the below zero temperatures……I joined a group helping to alert the public about Stephen’s disappearance…to get his face and info known….I stapled his “missing person” poster on all the mailbox fences up and down Hiland road….I prayed that he would be found safe and that we could finally hike together, talk politics over dinner at our house, visit his gardens in the summer…. 

Stephen was found a month later, dead deep in his basement, by his brother who had flown out to help.  He had been crushed by a slab of concrete he was digging under to expand his basement shop.  I postponed our meeting too long.  I will never meet Stephen, have the chance to get to know him or make him a friend.  I missed out on knowing a wonderful person.  I won’t let this happen again.  Off with the computer…hand outstretched IN THE REAL WORLD.

11.   What good deed will you do this year?  I have always wanted to print out kind thoughts, inspiring sayings and pictures of beauty on cards to distribute with Willa around town.  On gas pumps, ATM machines, tables at coffee shops, random mailboxes…just to give people a surprise pick-me-up!

12.   Where will wanderlust take you this year?  Italy, Austria and Switzerland!!!!  We’ll be visiting Dylan at Aviano Air Base and traveling around from there.  I.Can.Not.Wait!!!!

13.   What new music, books, foods would you like to explore this year?  I will take the time to further explore my father’s massive collection of classical music as well as getting more acquainted with the latest Indian influenced ambient dubstep.   I’ve also taken a step back in time and have been enjoying a lot of the metal bands of my “youth”!  Books!  Not enough time! I’m working on finishing the Fire and Ice series.  I’m really in a medieval fantasy mode right now.  Foods….going with the Fire and Ice theme, Santa brought me the Feast of Fire and Ice cookbook.  I’ve been drooling over George R. R. Martin’s descriptions of decadent medieval meals since I started the series!  I would love to host a medieval themed party with foods from the books!

14.   What will you make happen in 2014?  Connection with REAL people, physical goals-weightlifting gains, skiing/running race personal bests, finding the time and place to paint again, exploring new territories of all kinds, continuing to find something wonderful in every day…
 
Our New Years...
Lunch at Humpy's, a fantastic skate ski on the Hillside trails-Willa did great keeping up!, home to warm showers, hot mulled wine and an evening of games we got for Christmas.  Various firework displays lit up our valley at midnight....Today we gobbled Mile's sticky buns for breakfast, went for a mellow 3.5 mile run with Willa, and spent the rest of the day lazing and watching an LOTR marathon!
 

Remember Chinese jacks??!


"Would You Rather..." THIS game is right up a 9 year old's alley!
 





 

December 30, 2013

Christmas Day 2013



Christmas morning fills my soul.  Flat out.  Following our traditions, I wake up, take a shower, put coffee on, turn on some celtic-y Christmas music, light candles, get the kiddo up allow the child who has been awake for hours to come out of her room, wake up Miles if he isn't already, and settle in next to the tree with all it's new gifts.  We first relieve our stockings of their goodies to enjoy while the cinnamon rolls bake. Then we DEVOUR those godammned miraculous confections with a second mug of coffee....  When dem bellies full, we head back into the living room to open presents.  I always play Santa, it seems.  We spend time digging what we gave and got.  And THIS year, for the first time EVER, methinks, I didn't feel like I had to rush and leave my little pile of fun to go somewhere else!  When I was a kid, no sooner then your presents were open, you were whisked away to church-catholic, ugh-and then to the aunt and uncle's house for Christmas dinner all the while yearning to get back to your new treasurers from the North Pole.  We took our time passing around gifts-Willa and Dylan will still get some "Santa" gifts, we'll continue to "pretend" he is real-and it was so sweet to each receive a huge hug and "thank you!" after each gift she opened!  I'm so happy for her that she seems to have true gratitude within....I believe it makes a person more whole, purposeful, happy and satisfied in life when they can see beyond themselves and truly cherish what they have.  It was GRAND and GLORIOUS to just hang out on Christmas Day!  Basking.......no rush...... What my dad would describe as a
  
"nice.........................................................................
                                       leisurely....................................................................
                                                                            time...............................................................".

And when we were ready, we got cookin' in preparation for our friends to arrive for dinner.  At OUR house!!!!  Another first!  Finally having a proper dinning room and big table to seat everyone for a feast.  Finally!  And a feast it was!  Our Christmas Eve and Day dinners were the best I think I ever had!  A brined and smoked turkey hen, mashed taters with a smidge of bacon grease, candied yams, fresh bread and butter, spicy cranberry chutney and oyster/deer sausage stuffing(These ROCKED mah belleh, if I don't say so myself!!!!), red wine and an out-of-this-world brussel sprout dish that our friends brought.

WE ATE LIKE KINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  KINGS!!!!!   Mother of baby bacon fat covered jeezus..........

Miles and I (and Willa, too, I'm sure)  are so grateful for our friends, the Ruiz's.  We met them about a year and a half ago at the Salmonstock Music festival.  They were camped at the same campground as we were.  Willa and their daughter, Lily, found each other and hit it off right away, playing on the beach.  Moms and dads introduced themselves and we've been buds ever since.  I feel like I can relax  and be myself with them.  The type of friends you'd pick to live in a commune with....or if shipwrecked on an island.....

We did a "Chinese gift exchange" which is always a fun way to exchange gifts.  I threw in a pair of 3x grannie underwear for fun!  We were hoping to play our Cards Against Humanity game that Santa brought, but the Ruizes all had head colds and were feeling the need to head home.  It was a wonderful evening and I really hope to make Christmas Day dinner at our home a more regular event....




Sweetheart....
Fun with Christmas lights!


Weeeeee!
 
My 5th grade revisited and passed to Willa...The great Gilly Hopkins and Chinese Jacks!!!  Remember those?!?!


A new telescope!!!  (remember that foreshadowing?!)  Here I am trying to reenact the photo of the jump in the air I did 10 years ago when we got our first telescope
This year's hand made gifts.  Dig the candy bowl Willa made for her daddy with an old vinyl record!  I made Miles and Willa plaques to hang running medals and beer brewing awards on.  (beer awards are Miles, of course).  Willa made a lovey painting of birch trees and a toy for the kitty!



LOOT!


cheers!

Fukinlovem!!!  Our music lovin', booty shakin', outdoors hangin', laugh-a -lot friends!  And the adults are cool, too.

 
Chinese gift exchange
Perfect!  Ho ho ho, indeed!



December 27, 2013

Christmas Eve 2013...the year without a Santa Claus




We got our wish this year!....to host Christmas day diner at our house for friends.  So we spent a big part of our Christmas Eve baking, smoking, and cooking for our feasts for both nights! We were really hoping to take a break and go ski in town but the temperature on the trails was well below zero.  Not a comfortable environment to ski in, especially for Willa.  While she can keep right up with Miles and I on a moderately fast ski now, if we are really hauling ass for a killer workout and training.....or just to keep warm at 10 below, she would be left behind.  But 2000 ft up at our house it was 7 above so we opted for another show shoe across the valley.  Is was nice to get outside in the brisk cold after being in the house steamy hot from cooking all day.  There have been no big winds or warm temps to whisk away the snow from the trees to leave them bare for quite sometime now.  Everything has been covered in either thick snow or hore frost.  And it catches the winter low light colors so beautifully.  Truly a wonderland.  I hope it lasts!  I'm slowly phasing out some of our old Holiday decorations for new updated ones.  I really like a more wintery Scandinavian color scheme.  The soft grey-based arctic blues and purples that one sees outside this time of year.  I really like pagan symbology of the holidays, non-traditional natural Christmas trees, holly and berries, lots of candle light, and majestic reindeer stags-I have a nice collection of stags started....


Our house smelled like HEAVEN from morning to bedtime.  While Miles baked spent-grain bread and pie crusts, I worked on my pie filling, cranberry chutney, and oyster stuffing.  After our snowshoe we got busy with the rest of Christmas eve dinner...king crab, green bean casserole, and mashed taters.  Everything tasted incredible.....IN-CRED-I-BLE.  I actually ate so much I had NO room for pie.  That just does.not.happen.

Every year on Christmas Eve we each get a new pair of jammie bottoms and a family game.  We donned our jammies and heavy coats to take a walk around the neighborhood.  The stars where booming to the north-Saturn big and bright- and I was lamenting the fact that our telescope had been broken years before and now that we have this great new room with huge windows, wouldn't it be awesome to look at the stars from the warm inside?  Foreshadowing!  We followed up our walk with a viewing of Holiday Inn.  DAMN Fred Astaire could DANCE!

 Of course our holidays have been lacking without Dylan, but this was also the first year that we have had no Santa believin' kids in the house.  It was great when Dylan no longer believed(Actually, we had to break the news when she was 11!) because she could then join in the Santa Shenanigans of wrapping and setting up her little sister's presents.  But with Willa no longer believing...that's it.  No more Santa.  SOB!!!!!!!!  A few weeks ago, as Willa and I where decorating the tree, she paused and asked, "Are you Santa?"  Taken aback, I went right into goof mode.  Eyes wide and mouth agape I responded with, "OMG!!!  WHAT are you TALKING about.  Is the Devil in ye, Child?!?!?!?!"  She just looked at me deadpan.  "Mommy....TRUTHFULLY." 
UUUGGHHH!!!!  She played the TRUTH card!!!  I looked to Miles in the kitchen for help...I could see him watching us out of the corner of his eye.  Damn!  DAMN, damn!  "Hunny!  Willa thinks WE'RE Santa!"
"Mommy..........."
Oh, all right....SHIT.  There goes the magic.  The sneaking around late-night, putting Santa prezzies under the tree....the delight the next morning when she wakes up and walks into a candle lit room with soft Christmas music playing.....a pile of new presents under the tree(HOW does Santa get down such a skinny chimney?!)....a rockingchair and stool with cookie crumbs and half full glass of milk on it pulled up by the fire.... 

Damn kids and their "logic".

No Dylan...no Santa...those where tough things to wrastle with this year....but we still had a wonderful, wonderful time.....
And I didn't hesitate to boast, "And, ya know, ALL those presents from Santa were from ME and DADDY!!!  Aren't we the most AWESOME parents?!?!?!?!






A FABULOUS 17 year old cab... we bought 4 after enjoying some on one of our first "fancy" dates!

THANKS, Dad!!!!!
 
Something kinda wonderful:  I had been yearning to hear Handel's Messiah and looked through my dad's collection a couple of times to see if he had it(I had inherited his whole collection of hundreds of classical music CDs that I store in a couple of huge "notebook" disk holders) with no luck.  So on Christmas Eve I researched some highly revered versions of Messiah online and decoded to buy The Academy of Ancient Music-Christopher Hogwood conducting version on iTunes.  When I went to purchase, something kept preventing the sale from going through.  I was feeling pretty irritated at that point!  I was really wanting to hear this version now! It was hard to believe my dad didn't have Messiah in his collection, so I went back downstairs to look one last time.  I picked up the heavy leather CD book, put it on my lap and it fell open right to a Handel's Messiah CD.   Not only was there suddenly a disk right there alphabetically where it should be...but it was THE very same Academy of Ancient Music-Christopher Hogwood version I had just tried to purchase!!!  Crazy!!!!  My arm hairs were on end!  I put the CD in right before dinner....and it was magnificent.  For the first time since my father died, I felt like he was there with us.  A warm, comforting, loving feeling of the highest form of my DAD.

Smeeeeeeeeeeell!!!!!!!!



GLORIOUS EATS!!!!

Sillies!

Fuzzy foxes, celestial white horses, and Star Wars!
 
And to all, a good night.....