Muckin about on Craigslist!

(Circa 2006-ish)

2006 KIRBY vacuum- Kicks ass! - $1000
Hardly used KIRBY VACUUM for sale.

“EWWWWW!!!! Hardly used?!? How dirty must their house be?!”, you ask? Well, the Kirby worked wonders on our ole’ nasty pet/kid/drunk stepfather in law-maltreated carpets before we ripped them up and put in swell wood flooring. Now we don’t need Kirby, just a good old fashioned corn broom!

This illustrious “Diamond Edition” Kirby comes with the Shampooing System and lots-o-funky attachments in a glorious mountable holder! This thing will sand your woodwork, blow feral cats off your porch and massage your back at the end of the day- I shite you NOT! Sorry, this is not the model that serves hot wings an’ Schlitz, nurses your newborn or de-glacierifies your roof. But it WILL summon the power of Greystoke and suck every last bit of dust mite poo, pet hair, bit of dirt and dead skin and the ilk, out of your carpets, beds, pillows, rugs, Grandpa’s toupee and whatever. Just about! Breathe easier and enjoy relief from allergens ‘cause it’s got *MiCRoN*MaGiC* HEPA FILTRATION!

BEHOLD!

BIG ASS WOODSTOVE$200

Swell cast-iron woodstove: 31ish"deep X H 37" X W 24".(did I just pull a Spinal Tap over there?! Supposed to be inches. Does this " denote inches, or this ' ?)Assuming we can even get it out of the house without knocking down a wall, this big behemoth would be perfect for a large lodge or your garage/workshop. You could also bury it and live in it, post-apocalypse. 'Tis overkill for our humble abode so please come and git it and help fund the downgrade to a smaller stove. ...Really needing to open up the feng shui flow in our living room. Namaste

P.S. Can't have obese cat