Ski the Beach!

 ...The culmination of our skate skiing season with the Junior Nordic ski club. An afternoon of races for kids and adults alike. Races range from 1K to 15 K. It's a fun beach-themed shindig with lots of bathing suits, grass skirts, pink flamingos, colorful flower leis, food and  warm Gatorade punch.  This year it was a balmy 20° on race day but the sun was a-blazing and it felt much warmer.  That solar heat, unique to Alaskan winters, on my face, eyes closed and upturned toward the sun, felt incredible.

But, is was more like Ski the BITCH, for me this time around.  I wasn't planning on skiing the beach due this weird virus that I seem to have had for the past week and a half.  A strange feeling of itchy pressure in my chest but no productive cough. I've also been on a roller coaster of fatigue... feeling quite tired at times and fairly energized others. It's been like a brewing cold that never quite hits- like my body has been battling it and trying to keep it at bay. Up until Sunday morning I was planning on not skiing it with Miles and Willa, or even leaving the house that day, because I just didn't feel like I had the energy for it. But the day was SO gorgeous and beckoning... And after all, this is the ONE ski race I participate in each year. All my time spent helping to coach Junior Nordic, and the personal time I spend training on the hills culminates in this one 7K race for me. So...my ego got the better of me. I threw on my gear at the last minute, had a bowl of oatmeal and decided I was going to go for it. The Facebook invite for Ski the Beach said it started at 12 but they failed to mention  that the set up started at 12.  The actual race didn't start until two, so we found ourselves with two hours to spare but not wanting to go back home. We decided to head over to the Eagle River Alehouse for a light protein filled lunch. Miles and I split some spicy wings and Willa had her standard grilled cheese and fries.

Back at the ski chalet a little while later we picked out our  Hawaiian leis, registered for the race, and hung out with some friends until race time. Miles and I got in line with the 7K racers with Willa behind in the 3K section with her buddies from junior Nordic. The 15 K racers started a couple of minutes before us. When it was our turn, I patted Mile's arm and bid him a good race.   I had the usual excitement at the beginning, polling hard in the tracks until they opened up and I could start to get a good skate on, passing the slower people and trying to catch up with the faster. Fresh corduroy tracks laid and crisp wind in my face!  YES!

 10 minutes later I thought, "What in the HELL was I thinking?!?!".  That window of energy on the rollercoaster I had been riding slammed SHUT. I felt devoid of strength, the muscles in my legs suddenly rubbery. But it's not like I was dying or anything so I plugged on. MAN, it was grueling. Really brutal .  Looking back I realize that there's a lot of the race that I really don't remember! I guess it's kind of like those marathon or ultramarathon runners who, towards the end of the race, start really zoning out, if not hallucinating. While I certainly wasn't hallucinating, I felt that I had transported to the end of the marathon within only a few minutes of starting that ski race. The second half of the race went a little easier than the first because I was skiing on terrain that I'm very familiar with.  I know what's around every bend, and I know if I put a lot of power getting up some of those upcoming grueling hills I'm rewarded with a nice fast downhill glide to restore my breath. While I've really improved with my skate skiing uphill this season, the one thing I've noticed is that while I can ski up the hills quite quickly and even with a little bit of grace, I have to stop at the top because my heart is just pounding, my lungs are in overdrive. Just for a bit, mind you, and then I ride that welcome downhill as far as I can until I reach the next hill. I've also really embraced speed this year both with skate skiing and downhill skiing. When skate skiing on the steeper hills, I used a snowplow a little bit and drag my poles to slow down the descent.  This year something just... changed.  Nothing forced...just a shift in perception, I guess.My skis are straight, I tuck down, poles close in and out behind me and I'm flying down that hill with no fear.

Back when I was still duck-walking hills there was no need to stop at the top as it really didn't take my breath away so much.  But this year it's a different story with the power I'm putting into my form going up hill.  DANG, it's workout!  It really affected my race in that if I wanted to keep continuously skiing without stopping I had to revert back to duck walking up the hills and, yes, it made me feel like a rookie. There were a few top-of-the-hill pauses where I would look back to see who was behind me.  I could often see Miles in the distance and more than a few times I thought I should just stop for a couple of minutes, catch my breath, let him catch up and just finished the race together. But I decided to keep pushing despite how horrible I felt- something I would kind of look down on before I started entering races.   Where have you been all my life, Competitive Streak?!  Where did you come from?  And why did I let you compel me to do something potentially harmful to my body!?!  Well, at least I didn't DNF. I came in just under two minutes slower than last years time which had had me bummed out but then again, I was SICK.   I was 4th out of 7 women.  As I slid through the finish line looking forward to my post race cool-down which usually consists of just walking or slowly skiing a lap, I was immediately halted by some woman who desperately wanted my race bib right NOW.  We wrestled together for a minute trying to pry off that kooky, tight fitting, belly shirt from the 80's lookin' thing and once I was liberated Willa burst out of the Chalet to give me a big hug, report on her race, and as fast as she had appeared, she DISappeared. Willa really rocked her 3K, coming in 8th out of 23 kids.  She was so proud of  herself!  We are too!

I immediately went from feeling horrible to miserable.  My chest and throat felt like sandpaper and my limbs and core were quite shaky with exhaustion.  The warm Gatorade was welcome, indeed.  We went home to very lazy burger-and-mac dinner in front of Terminator 2.

Am I glad I did this race?  Yeah.  As long as it doesn't turn into walking pneumonia or something...  2 days later and my cough is only a little more productive...still tired.  Will I race again while feeling sick like this?  Jeezus Fuck, NO!

Junior Nordic may be coming to a close but the season's not over yet.  There's still a lot of skiing to be done and hopefully we'll get more snow. My goal is to continue working on endurance- trying to ski up those hills without having to stop and gasp at the top. To be able to get through that 7K route without stopping.

Miles at the finish

This is happening

We're going to Italy.

In June for 3weeks. Italy....with Austria and Switzerland thrown in.

Lake Como- Photo via Pinterest

THANK YOU SWEET SPIRIT!!!!!
When I think of it, it's like blinding sparks of excitement rise from my pelvis, up into my belly, heart, throat, hands...
"How can I wait 6 months for this to happen?! I've dreamt of this all of my adult life....travel abroad...and it's in our hands!"
Tickets are BOUGHT!   I have to remove myself from the anticipation...kind of like forcing time to stop so that I can step aside and collect myself, come to a calmness. Let it all sink in. All while urging time to just speed up and get us THERE.  And I want to scream this from the ROOFTOPS!  But I've found I actually feel kind of ...guilty... when I tell people about our trip.  Like the guilt that kept me from using my car seat warmers for the longest time even though I knew I should be enjoying them.  What's up with THAT?  I guess I am feeling incredibly humbled and VERY blessed...

I'm surrounded by maps, travel books, a Rosetta Stone Italian Language program my Bro-in-law gave me (Thanks Mark!!!), my laptop where the Google Gods are always waiting and my "ITALY Trip" Pinterest board already stocked with so many ideas and informative sites.  I'm overwhelmed, but gleefully so!  There's a dazzling amount of possibilities for us over there...I don't want to miss a thing but I know we can't cram it all into 3 weeks!  I'm so glad we decided on adding the 3rd.  Leaves us with more options.... We felt this was do-able since our annual Russian River trip fell through.  We just could not book a site for this summer.

We have a basic idea of what we'd like to do.  See Dylan first and foremost!  We're hoping by then she will be able to get a chunk of time off to spend with us.  We want to explore the area she lives in, road trip and hike in the Alps...South Tyrol...to Innsbruck or Salzburg?,

South Tyrol -Photo via Pinterest

We've gotta get Switzerland in there somehow...., dip in Lake Como, visit Milan's Duomo Cathedral, stay at a hippy/spiritual healing/artist commune in Piemonte, drink wine in Tuscany, the Italian Riviera-hike the coastal trails and pick olives in Cinque de Terre, the HISTORY in ROME! ....oh, my GOD, I'm going to explode!!!

I have a LOT of work to do to set this up.  B and B's, car rental and driving in Italy, finding a house sitter, itineraries.....  The only things etched in stone so far?  A Condor flight for 3 to Venice via Frankfurt.

Photo via Condor Airline

And!................wait for it.....ready?......clench your Kegels, Ladies...... 4 tickets in possession to MUTHER FUCKING PEARL JAM in MILAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Happy scattin' Jeezus jumpin' on a spire, we're going to see one of my top 5 fave bands in fucking ITALY!!!  The nose-bleed seats cost an arm and a leg but We.Are.Going.  I've currently enrolled Willa in a crash course of Pearl Jam 101 to prep her for the show.

Look!  They're in Italian!!!!

This is epic.  This is fucking stone cold  EPIC.  I have waited so long to travel overseas....We are making it happen........mind BLOWN.

EYE-Taly!!!!  FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

Word.

The WORKend.

I was SO stoked that it was Friday.  Sunshine....with all the windows open, tunes blasting, heading down the highway to home.  It was a busy and productive week and the weekend was feeling all the more sweeter for it!  But alas, reality.  We've been out playing all summer, our weekends out of town with more to come....and many tasks left undone at home.  So this was the weekend to buckle down, suck it up, and git her done.  Mainly painting and installing the baseboard all around the house and smoking salmon bellies.  But we did have friends over Saturday night for homemade pizza, and Willa got to hike back to the lakes with our other friends on Sunday  while Miles and I plugged away on baseboard and chores.  It felt nice to relax outside later and roast brats and smore's on the fire pit.  I really can't complain.  The weather was downright HOT, I got to wear my bikini top, and we crossed a lot of crap off our to-do list.....I gotta admit, that feels pretty damn good.
Looking forward to getting back out of town and dip netting this weekend!

Baaaaaaaase Booooooooaaaaardsssssss

Salmon bellies.  OMG.

Pizza slinger!

As my friend, Mike, says,"Northern Latitude Attitude!"

Warm highway wind in Alaska?  I'll take it.

Batter up!

Last winter, the idea of joining the New York Life softball team with Miles sounded like a fun idea!  I've always wanted to participate on a company team!  We got cool, official-like jerseys and everything!  Yay, team!

And then the week before the first game arrived.  "What do mean there's NO practices?!?!?" I yell at ask my husband.  Just games?!!  We just go right into the GAMES?!?!  I haven't played since I was NINE!!!!  It hits me, then, what softball means.  Softball=having to catch balls.  I don't do balls very well.  And sometimes they come at ya FAST and HARD!  Sometimes they go up real high and you have to run, run, run and CATCH that thing or else you look like a douche.  Sometimes they are grounders and my low-back HATES those and they pop up in your face sometimes....
And then there is batting.  Actually hitting the friggin' ball when you're supposed to and knowing when NOT to cuz it's going to be a "ball". 
This SUCKS!!!   I suck at sports!!!!
And I sure did for the first 2 games.  Out in left field.  Again.  Hey, they recognized I'm ALWAYS out in left field.  I rock that left field!  Just like when I was nine.  Standing out there....looking at the clouds....pickin' and sniffin' the clover....lost in a daydream....swattin' mosquitoes. Happily I get no ball action out there.   At least Miles is out there with me keeping me on task. 
"Hey, I can RUN, though!  That I'm good at!  If only I could HIT the softball so that I could actually run to first base....."

Before and during the next 2 games, when we had the chance, Miles and I (and sometimes, Willa)would throw the ball to each other.  A first I could not get my glove to work.  Stupid, brand new, stiff glove wouldn't work right!  But then, all of a sudden, I was catching balls!  I was doing pretty well!  And throwing them not so much like a girl anymore!  OK!  I got this!  I might just be able to catch a ball if one comes my way.  My confidence was growing.
Then came last night's game .  It was a double header because the first team's opponents couldn't make it for some reason.  I was looking forward to the extra batting practice because we've not been able to get over to the batting cages.  I don't know what happened...but I hit that first ball pitched to me, pretty hard and well, and after that I hit every goddamn ball that came my way!!!  Every one!  I was SO friggin' excited!  I'm actually a contributing member of the team, now!  Not the one who makes everyone groan when she steps up to bat.  Not me, baby!
 I said goodbye to that gawky spacey 9 year old out in left field because her mother wanted her to do SOME kind of sport....  I told her, "I'm so sorry your confidence was SO low.  That you were not supported and encouraged in a positive way by coaches and teammates.  You HAD the ability, kiddo!  It's was already there!  All it took was confidence and faith in yourself... you needed  someone to help you find it but they weren't there.  I'm sorry it's taken 43 years to get there."

 

But we're HERE, NOW.   And I "found it" myself.  In the last year, between the running, rowing, and softball, a competitor has emerged. 

And I'm LIKING it!

Return of the BREWBIES! The Run For Women 2013

 

Back again!  The Great Northern Brewers Club BREWBIES get their run on. This year I ran it a minute and a half-ish faster then last year!  With this season's lack of consistent training, I was pretty happy with that!

They always put on a damn great shindig for this event!  Thankful for all involved.  I ran for Suzanne this year.  Even though her cancer is not breast related.  There should just be an all encompassing cancer month, shouldn't there?

 

 

Thinking of Suzanne and Dylan....and all that they are going through and facing gave me a lot of power...a lot of wind under my wings....I ran for both of them.....

 

Pre-race with the Brewbies

Right after the race.  Gimme water and bananas.  And always a supportive hug from my little girl!

Just a quick morn'in run

What better way for us to kick off Miles's 50th Birthday then to head into Anchorage at 8ish in the morning for a 5K run?!  The Skinny Raven Shamrock Shuffle- in temps low enough to leave you with a frosty boogery mustache if you're not careful, Ladies!  
We dropped our car off at West High school and opted to jog to the Bear Tooth Theater Pub instead of hopping on  the shuttle.  It's only 3 blocks and a nice warm up for the race.  The start and finish of the race was outside the Bear Tooth.  Inside, it was toasty and packed with happy runners bedecked in all stuff green and Irish-y, dropping off their gear, maybe picking up last minute bibs, and hitting the potties one last time.  They herded everyone outside for the start of the race and once we were squeezed in amongst our trotting brethren, I was surprised at how much body warmth emanated from everyone despite the 12 degrees.  It wasn't long before there was a sudden shift and a wave of people moving forward-we're still not sure if there was ever a starting gun or a "Go!"-but off we all went.   The race was fast but tough, especially the long hill toward the end but Miles and I both did much better than we were expecting!  I came in at 25:39 beating my previous time during a practice run by 4.5 minutes.  Miles came in about a minute and a half behind me.  I fuckin' LOVE running and racing with him!  This has been such a great journey so far for us!
We collected our Shamrock Shuffle pint glasses, went inside to imbibe in our well earned free beer-liquid 2nd breakfast-and headed over the sister restaurant, The Moose's Tooth, to fetch the keg for Miles Birthday party later that day.
One race and one beer down before 10:05 am!  Pretty good!



Heading into Anchorage.  NOT liking that readout AT ALL.

Goofing at a stop light

Top-o-the-mornin' to yaz!

Coooooold out there along Westchester Lagoon.  But I know I was downright hot.  Shorts dude there had it goin' on.

Lovely energizing sun up!

Done.  Gimmie my beer glass.

Fuckinlovim!  We have FUN, he and I! 

I'm so excited I don't even know what to title this post! BEHOLD the new addition!!!

And suddenly...it was done.  Well, 90% done, but LIVABLE!!!!  Warm, cozy, roomy, sparse (for me), bright and so US.  After 3 years of hard work and plenty of toil we have this glorious room, a pantry ready for shelves and freezer,  an entry to sit and pull off our boots in, and a closet to house all our outdoor gear plus.
 PINCH me.  I feel almost in shock that things are wrapping up so quickly!  We still have a lot of little details to deal with but for now we have a place to dine with family and friends, a floor that is SO comfortingly warm to lay and play on, a sacred space to sit and gaze out at the beauty around us.  I love how new, clean, and uncluttered it all is and I look forward to slowly adding art and personal objects to the rooms as they present themselves.  We have found the new room to be so stunning that it makes the rest of the house look like shit!!!!  Folks, it's like night and day.  So we've decided to take a plunge and knock out the rest in one fell swoop.  By that I mean that we will be finishing the floors in the rest of the house...wood floors in what will be the permanent dinning room, tile in the kitchen and new carpet in the bedrooms...within the next month rather then next summer.  We are big into getting it DONE AND OVER WITH!!!! 
I'm feeling pretty damn fortunate and very proud of the blood sweat, tears, creativity, brains, and love that we put into our new space.

Come on in:

AMAZING meditation spot!!!  Grounded on warm wood and connected to the world outside...

 

Best seats in the house!  But I can't wait to get a sectional in here!

 

The morning sunrise view

 

I'm diggin' our lazy Susan

 

This light is the shit!  First saw these IQ Lights in Vancouver and was STOAKED to find a smaller version on Ebay!  $25!!!  And very fun to put together!  We got the pendant attachment on the cheap at Lowe's as well.

 

 

New New Year's Meme

    

 Ya-fekkin'-hoo'!  Finally a new New Year's meme other then the SAME one that has been floating around webs for years!  Every year I Google around for a new and different meme but it's always the same one.  Actually found this one making the rounds on Facebook:

 

      1.   What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

First and foremost, that Dylan's ongoing mystery illness did not turn out to be any kind of auto-immune disease or IBD...or worse.  Turned out to be gastritis due to some virus.

      Also, upward mobility-emotional, economic, physical.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened? 

      Trying to accept the injury my body sustained (Iliotibial Band Syndrome) from doing too much too soon…and learning to listen to and respect my body’s need to heal.  Even if that meant not running until spring.


3. What was an unexpected joy this past year? 

          Our wild wacky Halloween night in Vancouver!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle? 

      Yeah…that would be being plagued with depression and anxiety at the beginning of the year.  Can’t say it came out of nowhere, I’d been having a bit of anxiety since my dad and uncle died, but the sudden drop and severity of it was definitely unexpected.  You know things are bad when I actually assent to going on a little Mother’s Helper.  I’m a big proponent of exercise, good diet, and open communication to stave off depression…but this just bowled me over.  So, thanks Lexapro.  Things got better right away. 

      And then there was the illiotibial injury in late summer.  After the highs of training, running races all season and a MARATHON, seeing myself become so much stronger in mind and body, being sidelined-perhaps till spring- was a huge blow.

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.
Challenge(as in “rising to the” )…heartbreak…evolution

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2012 (don’t ask them; guess based on how
you think your spouse sees you). 

      I guessed:  Challenge…injury…progress

              He actually said:  Progress…injury…growth


              7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2012 (again, without asking).

               I said:  Challenge…paradigm shift…progress

  He actually said:  Progress…re-ignite…snowy


8. What were the best books you read this year?

Born to Run (again), The Snow Child, Classified Woman

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Miles, my kids, my bff Mel, my mom.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Rising from an amateur runner to a marathon runner!

 

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? 

Early in the year Lexapro helped me to get back on track…challenging myself and getting myself moving took me to new hights emotionally.


12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? 

I have been terribly LAX in working on my spiritual self.  The desire/need to do inner work has always come in waves for me…but life changes or just allowing life to beome too  routine has sometimes swayed my practice.  But the last couple of years have been seriously spiritually DRY!  And I have come to the realization that while I’m not an atheist,  I really despise any organized religion and nonsense having to do with our lord and savior sky daddy.  Thanks right wing evangelical douch nozzles and tea bagger freaks!  It all seems SO amazingly Troglodytic to me!  In a nutshell…my beliefs tend to lean toward a blending of a higher creator type, quantum physics, dimensions and energy.  Anyhoo, about 2 weeks ago I suddenly felt an incredibly strong need to spend some time going within and getting my energetic shit together.  I don’t know why it came on so strong…and all sorts of subtle messages have been pouring in regarding meditation and energy work….relevant songs and news reports on the radio, out of the blue book/website recommendations from random people, finding out that my 2 local go-to energy workers are no longer available to me-one died and one moved…

So I will be heading into this new year with the intent to establish a daily meditation /self exploration routine to help raise my vibration and shit.


13. In what way(s) did you grow physically? 

Running free, running happy, running strong!  I built up some killer calf and leg muscles, a stronger heart and lungs, and soaring spirit(I know, that belongs with #12)

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others? 

My relationship with my hubby is always stable in it’s evolution.  In not allowing life to get stagnant and too routine, our doors are always open to new experiences to share with one another.  We both truly relish the LIVING of LIFE!  I really enjoyed our running evolution with each other this year. 

As for other relationships, I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have…”growth”, however?  I think this year my relationships stayed the “same”…and, due to my earlier depression and later injury, I feel that I didn’t make myself very available for growth with friends.  My deepest friendships are with folks who are far away…and that makes me sad and longing for closer and/or newer relationships where I feel I can truly be myself…feel accepted, supported and respected for that. 

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work? 

Re: Massage Therapy:  Knowing I’m really helping the clients I work with…and having that backed up by stellar feedback!

Re: My art:  The pure physical and emotional expression and release that painting gives me.

 

16. What was the most challenging part of your work? 

Re: Massage Therapy:  Working for someone who does not respect Massage Therapy despite the above!  And the fact that there is no room for more holistic work.

Re:  My art:  Loosing my muse for long periods of stagnancy.  Feeling like I have to limit myself to a certain style or genre because that’s what sell, thus losing my muse.  See the cycle??  Plus, I hate marketing myself publically.  My shyness gets in the way.  I SHOULD be rising to THAT challenge…..


17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
I admit it.  Sitting in front of a screen, whether it’s the TV, my laptop, an iphone, etc.  is addicting.  My ADD brain goes right into hyper focus and the concept of time disappears.  I truly intend to head into the new year with a rigid schedule of when I turn this thing on and turn it OFF.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

 Challenging myself, in many aspects of my life, to keep pushing past my comfort zones a little at a time.  This year was lived WELL.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year? 

That I really am capable of rising to a challenge and achieving a lot.

 

 20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you. 

“2012 came in like Woody Allen and out like Buddha” ?

or

“The Year of Living on a upward trend of emotional peace and happiness, running hard, worrying, loving strong, letting go, waiting and waiting….all the natural process of evolution.”

 

And a very happy New Years to all!!!!