This year, I made up my own damn meme!
1.
2013… was
your life a pond or a river? At times, I
felt like life was a rushing river of events.
Finally finishing our new addition, Dylan’s decision to enter the Air
Force , graduating highschool and leaving home, a summer full of exploring new
places, fun vacations…. And at other
times it seemed quite like a still quiet pond.
My work environment stayed the same, my art is at a standstill because I
have no place to paint freely(and when I had the chance to paint outside, I
made the choice to play elsewhere), physically I did not experience reaching
new goals like I had in 2012.
2.
What was the impetus for growth this year- body,
mind, and soul? BODY: Due to my illiotibial band injury and my
sprained ankle at the beginning of the summer, no real physical changes were
made. That was hard to take-especially
the fact that I couldn’t run over the summer.
I missed many of the summer races….but Miles and I where at least able
to run two half marathons using a basic “run for one minute/walk for one minute”
routine. It was more of a restorative
routine to protect our bodies that were not used to intense running at the time. My gym routine is in maintenance mode and I
am REALLY needing a change to switch things up and awaken my muscles and get
ready for more intense building. I DID
nourish my body this year with all the amazing and HARD hikes we did! MIND: I’ve made more time for reading this year
to feed my mind. I’m feeling the urge to
go back to school…not because I don’t like my career…I just enjoy school and
the idea of starting something new and different is very appealing….but in
reality, not very likely any time soon.
I have started a Rosetta Stone course in Italian, though! SOUL:
I would have to say our entire summer was balm and food for my
soul. See my “Something Special Every
Day” posts. What an incredible summer it
was! On the daily meditation that I
talked about last New Years, I have failed.
I was SO revved up to make it the start of my day every day, even if for
only 5 minutes. Routine and distractions
always get in the way though. With ADD,
quieting the mind is just.so.hard. I
think I’m the type of person who would benefit more from the structure of mediation
on CD, or a group, or a mentor to check in with periodically. I just can’t seem to make it happen on my
own. As for my hope to step up my writing,
I’m pretty happy with how I have kept it up.
Not as often as I would like, but more then I had been doing.
3.
What freed your soul? Themes of letting go presented themselves
quite a bit this year. In letting go of
hurts, disappointments, not putting up with toxic people and situations, I was
often reminded of these lines from the serenity prayer: “Grant
me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change……….. Living one day at a
time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to
peace.” (Just to clarify: I’m not an addict, but like many, I find comfort
in those words)
4.
What bad habit did you discard? Habit?
Well, it’s more like the addiction of screens. I’ve talked about this before. And I’m happy with the progress I’ve made in
keeping my screens off way more often! I
have a way to go and I plan to continue to improve in the next year. Using the internets for communication and
personal edification is one thing…..loosing yourself-and time-in it is
another. Another ADD problem.
5.
What magic presented itself? When I think of magic, I think of Willa. More than ever, she is such a joyous child. And so very loving…intensely as of late. Her
developing sense of gratitude in life, empathy toward people and creatures, wonder
at the world around her, physical abilities and expanding mind are a wonder to
see. She really is coming into her own
wonderful personality…not a carbon copy of us, but her own true self. And her own brand of humor is a joy! Holy
jeezus, I hope this doesn’t disappear with adolescence. I would have to be committed at that point…
6.
What 3 words embody this past year? PEACE, above all……Change…..exploration….
7.
Who fed your soul? My family, always….My wonderful husband. I am
constantly moved by how we just become closer, our understanding of each other
deepens, we simply love each other more and more with every passing year. We are very much our own person and yet so
wonderfully entwined in many ways….a perfect blend. Deepening friendships with a handful of good
people. As always, getting outside and
playing!
8.
What new skill will you master? Italian!!!!
Master? Not so much….I hope by
the time we head to Italy I’ll be able to have a basic conversation.
9.
Is there someone out there you would like to
strive to be more like in 2014? I’m
pretty happy with myself but realize there is always room for growth. This past year, I’ve had to take a close look
at my shyness-riding the cusp of social anxiety, actually- and how it has
worsened over the years…how I have changed from who I was in my 20’s. I have always been shy and tentative around
new people. But that seems to have
morphed into being seen as “reserved” even when I think I’m being “myself”,
sociable, open, lighthearted. A friend
pointed out over the summer that I seem so outrageous on Facebook but am pretty
reserved in real life. Yuk! An eye opener. While social media has been wonderful for staying
in touch with some great people, and allowing me to have a voice in a way that
I had never experienced when I was younger, it has also enabled me to be less
apt to reach out to people in real life.
Socializing from the comfort of my living room is so EASY! No real judgment, no awkward silences, no struggling
to break the ice. I have allowed it to really
change me and I need to nip this shit in the bud, NOW! I’m so grateful to have found some new
friends this year that I feel comfortable being my true self around. THEY might not see the full me yet, but I do,
when I’m with them. So, is there someone
out there I would strive to be like? My
duty is to strive to be the highest form of myself, whatever that may be, but
my friend Noel has always been the person that I have said I would like to be
if I could reincarnate after death. I
met Noel when I lived in Montana and was instantly blown away. She, in my eyes, lives life fearlessly,
without a care for what people think, in whatever way feeds her soul. The type of person who would break out in
dance at work to some crazy tune, shave her head to see what it would be like,
express herself with a wide open heart and mind experiencing whatever
interested her in life. GOING FOR
IT. She is an artist, a thinker, an explorer,
a champion for women and girls entrenched in sex trafficking….and soon she will
be a mama.
10.
What was the most important lesson learned this
past year that you will take into the next?
Number 9 segues nicely into this one.
Because of my shyness, I missed out on knowing a wonderful person…perhaps
making a family friend. Our neighbor,
Stephen, lived a couple miles down the road.
I’m sure we had all often been at the same events in the past, but I had
never officially met him. He was very
active in and an integral part of the LGBT community as well as Progressive
political groups. We ran in the same
political circles and struck up a “friendship” on Facebook over the last couple
of years. Stephen was known as a quiet
but very kind, gentle and giving person, an avid outdoorsman and a brilliant
mind. He was always making political
signs for use to use at sign wavings, marches and to stake in our yard. We always seemed to have trouble crossing
paths when he came over to drop them off.
But Stephen often invited me and my family to go hiking with him, he
gave us permission to hike on his property up the side of a mountain to a
saddle between 2 ridges. He offered to
share some of his many flower and native plant starts for my yard and
deck. Because of my shyness, I never
made it a priority. There always seemed
to be something else going on. I always thought there would plenty of time to
get together with Stephen… You NEVER
know when a person will be lost forever.
Stephen went missing in October.
His neighbor was alarmed when he hadn’t seen him for 2 weeks. There was an investigation and search of his
home and property. Nothing was found, no
foul play suspected. His phone was charging,
his wallet on the counter, radio on playing NPR, a half eaten bowl of popcorn
by his chair…it was as if he simply vanished in thin air. People wondered if he had had a mental breakdown
and just….left. Some thought he dropped
everything to go on an adventure. He may
have attacked by a bear while working on his property…….gotten hurt on a hike
and succumbed to the below zero temperatures……I joined a group helping to alert
the public about Stephen’s disappearance…to get his face and info known….I stapled
his “missing person” poster on all the mailbox fences up and down Hiland road….I
prayed that he would be found safe and that we could finally hike together,
talk politics over dinner at our house, visit his gardens in the summer….
Stephen was found a month later, dead deep in
his basement, by his brother who had flown out to help. He had been crushed by a slab of concrete he
was digging under to expand his basement shop.
I postponed our meeting too long.
I will never meet Stephen, have the chance to get to know him or make
him a friend. I missed out on knowing a
wonderful person. I won’t let this
happen again. Off with the computer…hand
outstretched IN THE REAL WORLD.
11.
What good deed will you do this year? I have always wanted to print out kind
thoughts, inspiring sayings and pictures of beauty on cards to distribute with
Willa around town. On gas pumps, ATM
machines, tables at coffee shops, random mailboxes…just to give people a surprise
pick-me-up!
12.
Where will wanderlust take you this year? Italy, Austria and Switzerland!!!! We’ll be visiting Dylan at Aviano Air Base
and traveling around from there.
I.Can.Not.Wait!!!!
13.
What new music, books, foods would you like to
explore this year? I will take the time
to further explore my father’s massive collection of classical music as well as
getting more acquainted with the latest Indian influenced ambient dubstep. I’ve also taken a step back in time and have
been enjoying a lot of the metal bands of my “youth”! Books!
Not enough time! I’m working on finishing the Fire and Ice series. I’m really in a medieval fantasy mode right
now. Foods….going with the Fire and Ice
theme, Santa brought me the Feast of Fire and Ice cookbook. I’ve been drooling over George R. R. Martin’s
descriptions of decadent medieval meals since I started the series! I would love to host a medieval themed party
with foods from the books!
14.
What will you make happen in 2014? Connection with REAL people, physical
goals-weightlifting gains, skiing/running race personal bests, finding the time
and place to paint again, exploring new territories of all kinds, continuing to
find something wonderful in every day…
Our New Years...
Lunch at Humpy's, a fantastic skate ski on the Hillside trails-Willa did great keeping up!, home to warm showers, hot mulled wine and an evening of games we got for Christmas. Various firework displays lit up our valley at midnight....Today we gobbled Mile's sticky buns for breakfast, went for a mellow 3.5 mile run with Willa, and spent the rest of the day lazing and watching an LOTR marathon!
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| "Would You Rather..." THIS game is right up a 9 year old's alley! |
