December 31, 2012

New New Year's Meme

 Ya-fekkin'-hoo'!  Finally a new New Year's meme other then the SAME one that has been floating around webs for years!  Every year I Google around for a new and different meme but it's always the same one.  Actually found this one making the rounds on Facebook:
      1.   What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

First and foremost, that Dylan's ongoing mystery illness did not turn out to be any kind of auto-immune disease or IBD...or worse.  Turned out to be gastritis due to some virus.
      Also, upward mobility-emotional, economic, physical.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened? 
      Trying to accept the injury my body sustained (Iliotibial Band Syndrome) from doing too much too soon…and learning to listen to and respect my body’s need to heal.  Even if that meant not running until spring.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year? 
          Our wild wacky Halloween night in Vancouver!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle? 
      Yeah…that would be being plagued with depression and anxiety at the beginning of the year.  Can’t say it came out of nowhere, I’d been having a bit of anxiety since my dad and uncle died, but the sudden drop and severity of it was definitely unexpected.  You know things are bad when I actually assent to going on a little Mother’s Helper.  I’m a big proponent of exercise, good diet, and open communication to stave off depression…but this just bowled me over.  So, thanks Lexapro.  Things got better right away. 
      And then there was the illiotibial injury in late summer.  After the highs of training, running races all season and a MARATHON, seeing myself become so much stronger in mind and body, being sidelined-perhaps till spring- was a huge blow.

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.
Challenge(as in “rising to the” )…heartbreak…evolution

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2012 (don’t ask them; guess based on how
you think your spouse sees you).
      I guessed:  Challenge…injury…progress
              He actually said:  Progress…injury…growth

              7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2012 (again, without asking).

               I said:  Challenge…paradigm shift…progress
  He actually said:  Progress…re-ignite…snowy

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Born to Run (again), The Snow Child, Classified Woman

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
Miles, my kids, my bff Mel, my mom.
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Rising from an amateur runner to a marathon runner!

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? 
Early in the year Lexapro helped me to get back on track…challenging myself and getting myself moving took me to new hights emotionally.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? 
I have been terribly LAX in working on my spiritual self.  The desire/need to do inner work has always come in waves for me…but life changes or just allowing life to beome too  routine has sometimes swayed my practice.  But the last couple of years have been seriously spiritually DRY!  And I have come to the realization that while I’m not an atheist,  I really despise any organized religion and nonsense having to do with our lord and savior sky daddy.  Thanks right wing evangelical douch nozzles and tea bagger freaks!  It all seems SO amazingly Troglodytic to me!  In a nutshell…my beliefs tend to lean toward a blending of a higher creator type, quantum physics, dimensions and energy.  Anyhoo, about 2 weeks ago I suddenly felt an incredibly strong need to spend some time going within and getting my energetic shit together.  I don’t know why it came on so strong…and all sorts of subtle messages have been pouring in regarding meditation and energy work….relevant songs and news reports on the radio, out of the blue book/website recommendations from random people, finding out that my 2 local go-to energy workers are no longer available to me-one died and one moved…
So I will be heading into this new year with the intent to establish a daily meditation /self exploration routine to help raise my vibration and shit.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically? 
Running free, running happy, running strong!  I built up some killer calf and leg muscles, a stronger heart and lungs, and soaring spirit(I know, that belongs with #12)

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others? 
My relationship with my hubby is always stable in it’s evolution.  In not allowing life to get stagnant and too routine, our doors are always open to new experiences to share with one another.  We both truly relish the LIVING of LIFE!  I really enjoyed our running evolution with each other this year. 
As for other relationships, I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have…”growth”, however?  I think this year my relationships stayed the “same”…and, due to my earlier depression and later injury, I feel that I didn’t make myself very available for growth with friends.  My deepest friendships are with folks who are far away…and that makes me sad and longing for closer and/or newer relationships where I feel I can truly be myself…feel accepted, supported and respected for that. 

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work? 
Re: Massage Therapy:  Knowing I’m really helping the clients I work with…and having that backed up by stellar feedback!
Re: My art:  The pure physical and emotional expression and release that painting gives me.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work? 
Re: Massage Therapy:  Working for someone who does not respect Massage Therapy despite the above!  And the fact that there is no room for more holistic work.
Re:  My art:  Loosing my muse for long periods of stagnancy.  Feeling like I have to limit myself to a certain style or genre because that’s what sell, thus losing my muse.  See the cycle??  Plus, I hate marketing myself publically.  My shyness gets in the way.  I SHOULD be rising to THAT challenge…..

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
I admit it.  Sitting in front of a screen, whether it’s the TV, my laptop, an iphone, etc.  is addicting.  My ADD brain goes right into hyper focus and the concept of time disappears.  I truly intend to head into the new year with a rigid schedule of when I turn this thing on and turn it OFF.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
 Challenging myself, in many aspects of my life, to keep pushing past my comfort zones a little at a time.  This year was lived WELL.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year? 
That I really am capable of rising to a challenge and achieving a lot.
 20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you. 
“2012 came in like Woody Allen and out like Buddha” ?
“The Year of Living on a upward trend of emotional peace and happiness, running hard, worrying, loving strong, letting go, waiting and waiting….all the natural process of evolution.”
And a very happy New Years to all!!!!

December 30, 2012

Christmas morning 2012

Christmas morning....traditions that have taken root...candles lit, Celtic Christmas music playing, , releasing Willa from the prison of her room, waking Dylan up, wearing cozy new jammie bottoms, checking out what Santa put in our stockings-even the cat's!, taking a break and devouring Miles's homemade cinnamon rolls and coffee, opening prezzies, making the phone calls to family, cleaning ALL that wrapping paper, and heading over the valley to our friend's for Christmas dinner.   This year we got to join Miles on his radio show, Dead or Alive, on 90.3 KNBA!  It was a late night but a lot of fun going on the air and picking out tunes for him to play!

Christmas zombies!

Willa made Miles a race bib holder!  Me next!

A very frisky kitty today!
The aftermath

Scotch.  You know it!

Getting ready to go on air


December 28, 2012

Christmas Eve 2012

We had a warm busy and lovely Christmas Eve.   Miles and I went for a great run in the afternoon...I am full of gratitude that I have been able to run my 4-5 mile route pain free for the last few weeks!  Let's hope I can continue to build back what I had last season.  Our appetites were primed for the feast we spent the rest of the day warm and smelling AMAZING.  Pies, pumpkin poppers, cookies, king crab, mashed taters, white trash green bean casserole, and a 10 year old wine brought up from our "wine cellar" (the crawl space).  It was a treat to FINALLY enjoy our Christmas eve dinner in our new addition!  We've set up our new dinning room in there temporarily until we get the wood floors in....which are now sitting in boxes on our floor waiting to acclimate and be installed.  Thw walls are painted, the tile is in, all we need to do not is put in the lighting, do the wood floor, and furnish it!
We cut down a monster tree from the back yard on my birthday.  It was choking out the trees next to it, so down it came....quite tall and skinny and very asymmetrical!  But decked out in it's Holiday finery it's an attractive and quirky tree.  We love it.  The room felt wonderful and spacious all aglow in candles and Christmas tree lights. 
After that glorious dinner we went for a walk in the dark and snow, goofing around and enjoying warmer temps.  We've had very little snow so far this year and are just coming out of a month of sunny blue skies and below zero temperatures!!!
The only downside to our evening was no Dylan.  In order to have Christmas day off, she had to commit to working on Thanksgiving and Christmas eve.  Such is the life of a working teen paying off a car....  Our fist Xmas eve without her...and that part really, REALLY SUCKED.

Willa making pumpkin poppers

They were SOOOOOOO yummy

A REAL dinning room table!!!

Spin the lazy susan!!!


December 22, 2012

Oh, these impermanent things....

We said goodbye to our sweet kitty-girl, Chi, last week.  Her illness was not-so-unexpected due to our struggle with her obesity but it was still hard to accept and just too soon for her 10 years.  It was a rough go for awhile: both Chi and Dylan came down with mysterious illnesses about the same time.  Kitty wasn't eating much and loosing weight, Dylan was plagued with attacks of severe abdominal pain and fatigue.  Both of my "kids", of fur and flesh, were going through the same medical tests, pokes, and prods at the same time to find out what was going on in their bodies.  The good news is that Dylan does not have any auto-immune disease as we had feared.  The bad news was that one of Chi's kidneys was engulfed in a large tumor.  So.....that was that.  Her remaining days were filled with lots of snuggles, coat brushings, quiet talks, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE....

A sick Dylan commiserating with a sick Chi
Once her perpetual purring stopped and she no longer "made muffins" by kneading on our laps, I knew she was close.  I woke up one morning and when I saw her eyes, they said loud and clear,"Mommy, I love you all so much, but I need to go".  So we gave her the greatest gift we could give her...and the hardest for the humans left behind.  Her passing was quiet, comfortable and with love.... with her mommy and her little girl by her side.  (I had Willa leave the room for the actual euthanasia part).

THAT is what our kitty was....pure flowing LOVE, like I have never experienced from another living being.  She had NO fear or distrust.....she would sit and watch over us with such a look of content adoration.  Especially Willa.  She was SO patient and tolerant with Willa right from the day we brought that little baby home from the midwifery.  Even in her last days, her head and eyes perked up and followed Willa's playful spirit as she went about her business.  Chi's love was never ending, never ebbing, never becoming temporarily obscured with frustration, resentment, anger...even when we accidentally tripped over her-which was often.  A being of light and love.

Healthier days....

A nap by the fire when Willa was sick

Soul siblings

I miss her terribly.  Her absence is tangible.  My lap feels light and empty.  I wait for it to be filled.  It was too soon.  Our kitty boy looks at me expectantly....we all miss her.

December 4, 2012