FLOW



this week's carnage

 Pandora tunes bumpin',

front door open to fresh air and

brilliant sunlight,

paintbrushes bringing nothing into something,

splashes flowing,

various objects scraping, sanding, grating,

new layers emerging, obscuring

bare hands spreading velvet color,

heart quick

and soul quickened

I love this type of artistic process the best...the struggle to suppress reason and judgement and engage the....?...universal energy, soul, raw emotion?   Stilling my mind, letting go, releasing my body into a burst of impulsive movement... it is so freeing and spontaneous-something I know that I need to do on a regular basis as a means of accessing my higher self and evolving as an artist. " Think less, do more!", the mantra of one of my fav artists and friend, Gary Reef.

I finally got the balls to break out the 2 HUGE blank canvases that I've had hanging on the wall for the past year. A 48 x 48 and a 36 x 48 that Miles and the kids bought me for Christmas, Mother's Day. I'd been reluctant to paint on them-their size was a little intimidating and I had a hard time getting my head around how much paint they would use up! But yesterday morning I thought, "At least throw a base layer of color on-get the juices rolling and perhaps the muse will overshadow the fear. These big, blank, plastic wrapped canvases on our bedroom walls are USELESS and look like shite."

Once I got started I couldn't stop.  I had planned on only working on one...but while one was drying I grabbed the other and started something new.  It was a struggle to push logic to the side and just go with the rapid fire flow...but it started happening.  After a little lull in motivation the last month, I've got the mojo back.  After a year of fighting myself, I just delt with the fear and I let go.
Discard, release and F L O W...

Sneak peak of a work in progress

poor kitchen...

Weekends of late

The funnest most awesomey thing to do on the weekend!  Rip up soggy, moldy, useless, because-contractor #1-screwed up-the-physics-of -the-garage roof/new addition floor-oi-yoi-yoi and now we have to start from scratch-ish and re-span/re-whatever, OMG.  Check out all the crap flyin' around....looks like it's snowing.  Eck!  Can you not feel our excitement?  Thank you, that is all.

And here is the remedy for the above angst and hardship:  BREWING BEER

Post-sleepover.  The RARE nap in Mama's arms.  Since toddlerhood, this happens, like, once a year.  Oh, how I reveled in it.

Playing with color

Halibut on the grill for making halibut burgers....fekkin' YUM.

More color play

...as well as lot's of knitting, dvd watching and going on longs runs with Miles.  Running with him is the BEST...chatting, future planning, re-affirmation of a great life.  Ran by a moose silently munching on willow....so glad I have him to share it with.  He's better then an Ipod full of boomin' tunes on a run!

WHO'S BUYIN' ?!?!?

I'm ON to something here, methinks!!! Re-usable, eco-friendly, and down right warm-n-cozy happy-ass hand knit SANITARY NAPKINS!!!  RIGHT?!?!!!!  Oh, YEAH, that's how I roll with this knitting gig!!!  A "Knitty Sani"!  Choose your colors, throw 'em down there where they go, and yer all set.  Good to go!

At the office

It's the PERFECT office for the small amount of time that I need it.  A sensual blend of warm lighting, deep heady aroma of coffee, interesting people-watching opportunities, wide space, and walls covered in great art- this month, some of mine!  This place I call my "office" three days a week is the Middle Way Cafe.  I have about an hour and a half between when I drop Willa off at school and when I have to go to work.  I've become very attached to this cafe/art gallery and I've come to really look forward to my cheap cuppa drip and time spent here with my laptop- editing photos, networking, researching my next art venues, FB'ing, and hopefully fitting in more blog perusing.



My spot under the long "s" painting

  It's been awhile since I've kept up with my blog roll and I'd like that to change.  FB is fun but also a major time sucker for someone with Attention Deficit Disorder.  I love that I have been able to keep in regular contact with SO many people that I probably wouldn't if left to just using snail or e-mail...and it's great for promoting my art, but it can also be so vacuous.  I find with spring here and the summer approaching that I'm missing the plethora of fabulous, ideas and inspiration that I have found within my blog list.  I have yet to see if some of them are even in existence anymore!  Life changed so much once Willa started full time school.  Gone were our days filled with little adventures of discovery, creating and crafts.  Abridged versions of these were relegated to the weekends.  I work more, took on an art career, and weekdays have become so much more busy with daily routine-lots of driving and evenings filled with trying to keep some semblance of tidiness in the home, fixing dinner all while Willa re-loads from a busy social day with some solitary play.   And all of a sudden it's bedtime.   I STILL hate not having her at home.  HATE it.  But she is where she needs to be for her age and is thriving and happy at our Waldorf school.  And on the other end of the spectrum, I'm very happy - and surprised -to have launched my art from the kitchen to the walls of local galleries.  And my work at the clinic is enjoyable, too.  But I can't wait for summer and the chance to get back into the rhythm of the "old days".  Morning walks to see what's new and alive outside, little road trips, picnics, creating outside in the sun, challenge hikes, and that spontaneous child-led learning-for BOTH of us.  I have a need to revisit the places where I have learned so much...about myself, about parenting, about the philosophy of the Waldorf environment, natural learning, ...to where such an  abundance of creativity is.  I've let life get TOO routine, and although the struggle to fit more of the past's routines into the now, consistently, is exhausting to someone with ADD, I need to make more of an effort.  It'll be easier when school is out. 
But for now, time to close down, leave my pleasant office and head to work.

Connecting...

Picking up knitting

again

but I think I can follow through

this time

a comfortingly intuitive

Teacher

watching quietly, acknowledges my aspiration

as well as my tension

validates my pleasure

reminding me to pause, breath deep, relax

~Our emotions come through in our stitches…

My green yarn runs in a gentle arc

from the ball on her lap

to my inner unrest

emerging stitch by contradictory stitch

from the needle-

awkward, contented, introverted, belonging, grateful, tentative, sure, happy…

The connection

umbilical-like

does not go unnoticed.