December 22, 2012

Oh, these impermanent things....

We said goodbye to our sweet kitty-girl, Chi, last week.  Her illness was not-so-unexpected due to our struggle with her obesity but it was still hard to accept and just too soon for her 10 years.  It was a rough go for awhile: both Chi and Dylan came down with mysterious illnesses about the same time.  Kitty wasn't eating much and loosing weight, Dylan was plagued with attacks of severe abdominal pain and fatigue.  Both of my "kids", of fur and flesh, were going through the same medical tests, pokes, and prods at the same time to find out what was going on in their bodies.  The good news is that Dylan does not have any auto-immune disease as we had feared.  The bad news was that one of Chi's kidneys was engulfed in a large tumor.  So.....that was that.  Her remaining days were filled with lots of snuggles, coat brushings, quiet talks, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE....

A sick Dylan commiserating with a sick Chi
Once her perpetual purring stopped and she no longer "made muffins" by kneading on our laps, I knew she was close.  I woke up one morning and when I saw her eyes, they said loud and clear,"Mommy, I love you all so much, but I need to go".  So we gave her the greatest gift we could give her...and the hardest for the humans left behind.  Her passing was quiet, comfortable and with love.... with her mommy and her little girl by her side.  (I had Willa leave the room for the actual euthanasia part).

THAT is what our kitty was....pure flowing LOVE, like I have never experienced from another living being.  She had NO fear or distrust.....she would sit and watch over us with such a look of content adoration.  Especially Willa.  She was SO patient and tolerant with Willa right from the day we brought that little baby home from the midwifery.  Even in her last days, her head and eyes perked up and followed Willa's playful spirit as she went about her business.  Chi's love was never ending, never ebbing, never becoming temporarily obscured with frustration, resentment, anger...even when we accidentally tripped over her-which was often.  A being of light and love.

Healthier days....

A nap by the fire when Willa was sick

Soul siblings

I miss her terribly.  Her absence is tangible.  My lap feels light and empty.  I wait for it to be filled.  It was too soon.  Our kitty boy looks at me expectantly....we all miss her.