April 12, 2009

MERRY SPRING! And kiss my Keister, Bunny of Easter.


What the HELL, Spring Bunny?!??! You come into my house like you just own the place, glom a ball of my good yarn, and unravel it all over the house to make one of your "cute" and "clever" games so that the kids will follow it all around to find that it leads to their Spring Baskets?!?!? Did you ever take into consideration, Ma'am, that they would tire of trying to roll the yarn back in a ball as they followed it? And that the Smarty Pants 4 year old would just bypass your precious yarn trail 1/2 way through and go straight to the end to find the baskets?!?! All at the crack of dawn and before our morning coffee?!?! Huh, did ya?!?! You got a lotta OOGATZ, rabbit.

Well, in relation to last year's Spring celebration(Easter, to some) we did pretty well! (I cracked myself up when I wrote last year's post on my Easter preparation angst, so I'm just gonna post it here at the bottom of this post and crack myself up again.) The extent of my shopping was a quick run to FREDS to pick up a bag of chocolate robin's eggs. And then to Michael's for crafty paraphernalia. We reduced the candy in the basket factor down to the eggs and 2 quality chocolate bunnies from a local pastry shop. Silly, laughing, happy bunnies- not any drug addled freaky bunnies like the ones in the re-post below. The rest of loot betwixt the 2 girls was a puzzle, book, toenail stickers, flower garland, Sarah's Silk rainbow vail, earrings for the older kiddo's 8th grade graduation dance(high school next fall, Je-SUS.), 2 gnomes, etc. I never got around to buying a mold and making my own bunnies w/chipotle, or scrollsawing the chicks or sewing a cute bunny, but there's always next year.....or next week if I'm ambitious...



Lo is finally feeling a bit better and was very into the egg dying. We tried different techniques. We dyed wood eggs, used the bleeding tissue paper, oil pastels, sticker relief, and natural dyes from cabbage, turmeric, and the like.




Now we're taking off to NatureLady's house to eat a little lamb. Don't tell Lo what it is!



HAPPY SPRING!!!! Hope you are all having a wonderful day no matter how you celebrate!



Easter '08-Chocolate bunnies=HOLLOW
(FREAKS.)
Our family celebrates and rejoices in SPRING. EeeeeeeeeeEASTER......Meh.“Holidays” have become so tired anymore. Especially when you don’t adhere to any particular religious doctrine. Easter-another capitalistic bull-shit holiday. Easter-the epitome of obnoxious. The time of year when i could just PUKE pastels. I’ve decided that for next year I’m gonna get all Martha Stewarty and make my own damn chocolate bunnies. Shopping for Easter basket paraphernalia and the obligatory chocolate bunny at our local Big-Box Mart proved to be a surreal experience. I passed, unenthused, through aisle upon aisle of chintzy stuffed chicks and lambs, fussy foo-foo dresses, pastel schmunskies, and then on to the Isle of Chocolate Bunny Rabbit Sarcophagi . By the time I was halfway down the aisle I was wholly freaked. Repugnant rabbits! The eyes, oh those Blue and yellow EYES! Who’s the miscreant who decided on sticking candy eyes on the bunnies?!? Manic and Marty Feldmannesque! Those ocular orbits were on the verge of exploding forth from their cranial confection. They goggle all around in different directions like a chameleon’s! Those Psychedelic eyes… staring off at some other realm of existence. Those poor bastards must have eaten the brown acid… Chagrinned, I grabbed two of the least demented bunnies of the lot. "Parsnip Pete" to be exact. A kid’s gotta have a chocolate bunny in their Spring Basket, right? Upon receipt of her basket, my youngest one picked up and considered her Parsnip Pete for a moment… and promptly plucked off its eyes and ate them. “See! Now they’re friendly." She then asked her sister if she could “ have yoursez eyes?” Nope. Next year no more carny prizes. Just meaningful things. Homemade bunnies. My husband is a former/eternal pastry chef for Christsakes. Milk chocolate for the 4 year old. White chocolate for the 13 year old. And one for my hubby made with a Mayan flare! Ancho and cayenne! Chipotle! They will be ROCKIN’.

14 comments:

Sarah said...

"Chocolate Bunny Rabbit Sarcophagi"

Best description of chocolate bunnies EVER.

Anne said...

LOL..:)

Joy said...

You always make me laugh! :)

Anet said...

Those are some freaked out rabbits!
Great idea to pluck off their eyes first.
Your baskets this year look very sweet!
I filled Noah's basket with camping stuff:) Happy Spring!

Sara said...

Happy Spring to you. I was wondering how Spring was coming along for you up north there. It is slowly making an appearance here.

tiff said...

"EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeekkkkkkk Easter"...we celebrate the coming of Spring...and practice our own celebration too! I love your spring baskets...they are so appropriate for your crafty life!

I remember last years post...and you make me giggle OUT LOUD!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what is with those candy eyes? My kids got very nice Peter Rabbit chocolate bunnies this year, without any added Marty Feldman features.

And we talked about what the heck all these eggs and chocolate have to do with Easter, anyway. We discovered that not only does Jesus rise up, but so do the plants! Huh, who'da thunk it? (I found a pretty cool web site, the Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth, http://www.entheology.org/POCM/getting_started_pocm.html. Now, I think it leaves out a few important things about the whole Jesus story, but it's fascinating nevertheless.)

Erin said...

"Those ocular orbits were on the verge of exploding forth from their cranial confection. They goggle all around in different directions like a chameleon’s! Those Psychedelic eyes… staring off at some other realm of existence. Those poor bastards must have eaten the brown acid…"

I don't think that I have laughed so hard in the past month!!! This cracked me up so bad!! Those thinks are scary! Wow!!!

denise said...

He heee.

Unknown said...

I love those little Gnomes! Love your blog, thanks for posting a comment on my blog so I could find you!

Kitten said...

I never ate the candy eyes off my chocolate bunnies, either. They freaked me out more than anything else.

Am stopping by after you left a comment over at my place. Thanks again for visiting! You've got some neat things going on here! I'm adding you to my reader.

P.S. Word verification: areguest. Found it funny that the word guest was in there.

Azi said...

I like reading your blog. It is written very friendly. Whenever I read your blog I think I can enjoy life more. By the way, you have cute smart girl. Best.

RunninL8 said...

Thank you azadeh! What a sweet thing to say!

Tammy said...

Your posts crack me up. Always a smile here when I catch up on my blog reading. :)