Batter up!

Last winter, the idea of joining the New York Life softball team with Miles sounded like a fun idea!  I've always wanted to participate on a company team!  We got cool, official-like jerseys and everything!  Yay, team!

And then the week before the first game arrived.  "What do mean there's NO practices?!?!?" I yell at ask my husband.  Just games?!!  We just go right into the GAMES?!?!  I haven't played since I was NINE!!!!  It hits me, then, what softball means.  Softball=having to catch balls.  I don't do balls very well.  And sometimes they come at ya FAST and HARD!  Sometimes they go up real high and you have to run, run, run and CATCH that thing or else you look like a douche.  Sometimes they are grounders and my low-back HATES those and they pop up in your face sometimes....
And then there is batting.  Actually hitting the friggin' ball when you're supposed to and knowing when NOT to cuz it's going to be a "ball". 
This SUCKS!!!   I suck at sports!!!!
And I sure did for the first 2 games.  Out in left field.  Again.  Hey, they recognized I'm ALWAYS out in left field.  I rock that left field!  Just like when I was nine.  Standing out there....looking at the clouds....pickin' and sniffin' the clover....lost in a daydream....swattin' mosquitoes. Happily I get no ball action out there.   At least Miles is out there with me keeping me on task. 
"Hey, I can RUN, though!  That I'm good at!  If only I could HIT the softball so that I could actually run to first base....."

Before and during the next 2 games, when we had the chance, Miles and I (and sometimes, Willa)would throw the ball to each other.  A first I could not get my glove to work.  Stupid, brand new, stiff glove wouldn't work right!  But then, all of a sudden, I was catching balls!  I was doing pretty well!  And throwing them not so much like a girl anymore!  OK!  I got this!  I might just be able to catch a ball if one comes my way.  My confidence was growing.
Then came last night's game .  It was a double header because the first team's opponents couldn't make it for some reason.  I was looking forward to the extra batting practice because we've not been able to get over to the batting cages.  I don't know what happened...but I hit that first ball pitched to me, pretty hard and well, and after that I hit every goddamn ball that came my way!!!  Every one!  I was SO friggin' excited!  I'm actually a contributing member of the team, now!  Not the one who makes everyone groan when she steps up to bat.  Not me, baby!
 I said goodbye to that gawky spacey 9 year old out in left field because her mother wanted her to do SOME kind of sport....  I told her, "I'm so sorry your confidence was SO low.  That you were not supported and encouraged in a positive way by coaches and teammates.  You HAD the ability, kiddo!  It's was already there!  All it took was confidence and faith in yourself... you needed  someone to help you find it but they weren't there.  I'm sorry it's taken 43 years to get there."

 

But we're HERE, NOW.   And I "found it" myself.  In the last year, between the running, rowing, and softball, a competitor has emerged. 

And I'm LIKING it!