Dea Dea Dea Dea Dea Dea DeaYesturday was the last day of pre-K at Aurora Waldorf School for the summer and I was surprised at how hard she took it. She has been in the 3day/3hr pre-K class for the past 2 months. Before that, we attended the Parent/Tot class taught by the same teacher, Miss P. I also know Miss P. from an acupressure class that we both took a few years ago.
My friend who was taking care of Lo on Wednesdays so that I could work, was no longer able to watch her due to a heavier work load. She is the head naturalist at our Nature Center and Lo got to hang out with her and attend her Kneehi Naturalist program. As I was not able to stop working, we were forced into looking for alternative care. We checked out 2 "highly recommended" pre-schools and I left feeling like I was going to throw up. Total chaos. As soon as we walked in it blasted us in the face. Kids screaming, arguing, fighting. Teachers yelling over the din. Early academics pushed. Stupid mainstream themed plastic toys. Kids laden down with Disney, et al. accoutrement's. Windows were covered up? No artwork on the walls. And no friendly welcome. Lo hid her face in my legs when the teacher finally "greeted" us. I could tell Lo was too sensory overloaded to respond. When Lo peeked out to watch some wrestling kids, the woman actually placed herself in Lo's line of sight, bent down from the waist(not squatting on Lo's level for reassurance), stuck her face in Lo's and seemed not to want to relent until Lo greeted her back! Through gritted teeth I said,"She's easily overwhelmed by this type of thing. She'll come out of her shell when she feels safe."
In tears I told my husband there was no way in hell we could send her there. I just could not accept anything less then the homeschooling(for lack of a better word-she's only 4 so I've provided the basic rhythmic Waldorf pre-K ) I was giving her or an environment like our Parent/Tot class. In the end after giving it a lot thought, we decided to buck up and send her to her beloved MissP's pre-k class. I pushed hard to get in her in for just 2 days a week but that wasn't possible. They are a private school trying to make ends meet. So 3 it was. It was so hard for me at first-I love being home with my baby! But I also knew in my heart that she was needing a little more social stimulation and I was having a hard time giving her that with where we live. She fit right in knowing her teacher and classroom as well as many of the kids. I took on another day of work to help pay for the tuition and realized I was really needing that 3rd day to just be by myself to engage in some "me time". I've never been the type of mom who was sick of being at home, couldn't wait to get back to work, blah, blah, and I've never needed or asked for a lot of space, but those 3 hours a week are precious to me. It gives me a chance to re-connect with myself as an individual. It's like restarting my battery and really all I need. Without it I'm not myself, lost, crabby...yikes! In the end, we're both invigorated and still have our own "homeschooling" rhythm.
So, back to sad goodbyes. Parents were invited to stay for the day for a shared meal and outside play. Lo was uncharacteristically clingy and did not participate in any activity that represented the "last day". This kid is totally motivated by food and didn't even want to help with making the fruit pizza. She didn't want to be a part of the impromptu class picture.
Here she is leaning on Miss P.... Sad girl.
She didn't want to hug anyone or hold hands during the closing verse. In my soul I felt her sadness. I was almost teary myself as were some of the other moms and dads and kids. I could only imagine how Lo must have felt! She crashed hard for a long nap when we got home and was in slightly better spirits when she woke up. She had 2 pee-pee accidents though. One during nap which is rare and one after her bath(oi!) when we went for a bike ride(never has an accident when awake anymore). What might be going on there? :(
A Waldorf school is a world apart from other educational institutions. It's a family, a deep connection, an extension of oneself. I understand that sense of loss she is feeling.
But we'll fill our summer with fun, still see some of her Waldorf friends for playdates, explore and learn, travel, and invite Miss P and her family to come up and go hiking with us in our "back yard". She's still asleep this morning but I hope today's blue sky and pink morning sun on the mountains will fill her with the promise of more time with Mommy and Dea...and Summer.
View from our deck this morning
2 comments:
That is so great that you found such a wonderful place for your daughter. I don't think many people realize that there is a better alternative to the sort of mainstream preschool you described. That is so sad that your daughter is heartbroken over school being out...I hope she has lots of fun this summer.
Aren't Waldorf (we call them Steiner here) schools wonderful. And so hard to explain to anyone who doesn't 'get it' why they are so important. I find I just cringe and want to run away from so much of the mainstream now - I tried a local music mums and tots group the other week and couldn't get out of their fast enough. Kids eating lollipops! Loud recorded music. Talk of fundrasising to buy ... a shared DVD collection. I was so out of place. Its great you guys have found your place in the world.
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