And an ANNIVERSARY MEME

1. Where/How did you meet? Missoula, Montana. We were neighbors and shared a woodchip “area” for a yard! I felt immediately connected to him- Like he already was an old and dear friend. He was married, very unhappily, to “MeMe McMememe”- a marriage in chiaroscuro. A veritable chameleon, extraordinarily self-absorbed, disliked by most, fickle, phony, snobbish and embarrassingly loud, after we all struck up a friendship she eventually earned herself a place as an unfortunate part of the friendship package.
But Huz soon became my best friend and “soul brother” and as time went on we each secretly harbored a deep love for each other. We never spoke of our true feelings as Huz is a remarkably loyal person who believed in trying to make his commitment work, and I would never settle for or interfere with a married man. So buddies we were.

2. How long have you known each other? 14 years

3. How long after you met did you start dating? After we all moved to separate states Huz’s marriage fell apart as MeMe began her decent into addiction, mental illness, flight to New Mexico and involvement in a lifestyle outside the cultural norm. Different strokes, I guess, but BDSM took precedence over her own biological child. (I adopted Dea in January, 2006).
Only after divorce was decided upon, did Huz and I finally give air to our true feelings.
We went on our first date 5 years after we first met.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged? 1 year. EVERYONE should spend at least a year getting to know someone before making a commitment like that!

5. How long was your engagement? 8 months

6. How long have you been married? 6 years!

7. What is your anniversary? June 15th

8. How many people came to your wedding reception? About 70. 40 too many!

9. What kind of cake did you serve? A cake made up of tiers of smaller cakes and decorated with rolled fondant and wildflowers. The poor flowers wilted in the heat before everyone could see how pretty it was! All cakes were chocolate-some with orange filling and some with raspberry filling.

10. Where was your wedding? Alyeska Ski Resort in Girdwood, Alaska. Our ceremony was outside on the Express Deck about 2,300 feet above sea level with panoramic views of Turnagain Arm, the Chugach Mountain Range, and seven "hanging" glaciers. The reception was down below at the Sitzmark Pub.

11. What did you serve for your meal? Fresh King salmon, prawns, and tuxedo strawberries among various other goodies made by Huz's former boss.

12. How many people were in your wedding party? Four. My best friend was my Maid of Honor and my daughter, DEA, was bridesmaid/ring bearer. Huz’s 2 best friends were best man and groomsmen.

13. Are you still friends with them all? Absolutely!

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? We both did.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day? Reciting our vows to each other and to DEA. We also surprised DEA with a ring of her own.

16. Any funny moments? Our Officiate, C.C., forgot to bring our cords outside to the handfasting part of the ceremony! She had to run over and get them. She felt bad but we thought it was funny. It was all good.

17. Any big disasters? Two! The first: The stylist that I had booked and done a preliminary style with decided to forget our appointment the morning of the wedding. It was SUNDAY! There was NO other place open and I had this "colored" conditioner in my hair that I assumed would be washed out by the stylist. Huz's sweet stylist, Pam, that he had been going to for years, opened her shop up to save the day. No time to wash the hair though, so I was much redder than usual!

The second: We had booked the Sitzmark pub during the winter while visiting it with my best friend. We did not realize at the time that they do not have air condition in the place. And of course we had a gorgeous cloudless 80 degree day in Alaska for the wedding!!! The place was ROASTING!

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Cabo San Lucas. Big time hedonism!

19. How long were you gone? 10 days

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change? ELOPE!? Cut the guest list in half, have a more intimate venue with better opportunity for dancin’!!!

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Left

22. What size is your bed? Queen and perfect.

23. Greatest strength as a couple? Communication, respect and the ease of our Commitment.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Occasionally having a hard time understanding each other's complexities.

25. Who literally pays the bills? Huz. Thank god.

26. What is your song? How gay. Central Reservation-Beth Orton, would be the closest thing.

27. What was the first song you danced to? PPPFFTTTTT! Twas a non-traditional wedding. I hate all that fan fare!

28. Describe your wedding dress: I’ve never been into the big gratuitous wedding thing-ours was very non-traditional. I was originally going to buy a slip dress and just wear a flower wreath around my head, and bare feet. Huz had bought a ticket for my best friend to fly out and go dress shopping with me and Dea. We had a great time going from store to store, goofin’ off and trying on outrageous dresses and veils (yuk!). But then we came upon one shop that had such a whimsical dress. When I tried it on it looked amazing and it was just, unexpectedly, “me”. Soft bell sleeves, empire-ish waist, like it was out of Lord of the Rings. I caved. And cut the stupid long train off of it!.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? I have no idea-see picture!

I need to find out so that I can re-create them in silk someday… But the bouquets where gorgeous! So random and earthy and wild. My wreath had tiny buds attached to the silk ribbons cascading behind my head and back.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? Nah. Why engrave what IS ,every day?

31.How old were you when you were married? 32

32. Keys to a successful marriage? Compatibility, cohesion, a balance between separateness and togetherness, giving each other room for personal growth, being best friends , self-love, equality, humor and play, picking the other up when they fall, communication, genuine intimacy, always remain each other’s boyfriend/girlfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend-whichever fits!-, the element of surprise, fix the problem not the other person, you only get out of it what you put into it.

*In marriage, the road is never paved smooth, but our journey is serendipitous and joyful!*